I find myself asking, “So, where do I go from here?” Sometimes I start to wallow in self pity. That feels good for a while, then it just becomes as disgusting and tiresome as the constant pain and weariness. I do find solace in reading God’s Word. No matter how far down in the depths I have gotten, He can always speak to me and pull me back up for a gasp of air. It is truly a balm to my soul. I found out today that music helps as well. Thank goodness for Pandora and my favorite stations: Indigo Girls, Alison Krauss, and The David Crowder Band.

My family is definitely holding me together right now. My sweet, caring, wonderfully understanding and nurturing husband; my five sweet little boys who are the agony and ecstasy of my life; my extended family who support me as they are able. I know that I am truly blessed, but there are days that I choose to embrace depression over my relationships. I have found that allowing my family and a few close friends to keep me accountable and occasionally pull me back from the brink helps a lot.

I am still trying to figure out how to best fight this Fibromyalgia. I am starting some supplements to see if they help. I am cutting way back on sugar and grains. I will hopefully be able to totally eliminate them soon, but it has been difficult. Baby steps. A wise woman told me this last week that we have this idea that perfect health can be ours if we just figure out the right formula and sometimes this just isn’t true. Sometimes we are just sick, for no better reason than that we live in a fallen world and there is sickness in that fallen world. I am trying to trust God daily in this and relying on Him for my strength.

If you are reading this and you have or have had a debilitating illness, how have you coped? I welcome advice in this matter. I think because the diagnosis is so new for me, I am struggling more with it now than I probably will once I get used to the idea. These are just some thoughts going through my mind right now. I truly appreciate any dialogue this may generate. Sharing and communicating can only make it better.

Here is a quick description from the pamphlet that the kind doctor gave me yesterday, from the Arthritis Foundation-

Fibromyalgia is a condition associated with widespread chronic pain, fatigue, memory problems and mood changes. Fibromyalgia affects up to 4 percent of the U.S. population, and it occurs more commonly in women than in men. The average age of onset is between 30 and 50 years old. Fibromyalgia is not a disease, but a constellation of symptoms that can be managed. (Pg. 2, Fibromyalgia)

I still need to check if my doctor tested me for hypothyroidism (which can mimic the symptoms of fibromyalgia) first, but it is good to know that I am not imagining things. It is a great relief actually. And now I know what I can do to start getting proactive. The pamphlet suggested that the most important changes I can make are having a good sleep hygiene/routine and getting more exercise. I think I can do that!

Some other things I am planning on looking into are following more of the eating principles talked about on the Weston A. Price Foundation website and in the book Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon. I have been warned that it takes about 7 months for gluten and the symptoms it causes to clear your system. I think that is going to be the most difficult thing for me because I love love love gluten. But I love feeling good more.

I guess the reason I feel compelled to blog about my diagnosis is to not only to help inform others about fibromyalgia, but to get feedback from those who have it themselves, and to open up communication and dialogue that will benefit all of us. I know there has to be a reason that fibromyalgia is on the rise and it seems from what I have read, doctors and researchers do not seem to have an idea why that is or what the actual cause of fibromyalgia is. I guess I am just not willing to accept that I will always feel like this for the rest of my life.